New Study Shows That Some Humans (I'll Call Them X-Men) Brains Don't Shut Off When They Sleep

Dailymail – As you toss and turn on the first night in a hotel, it is easy to blame the lumpy mattress or the hard pillow. But scientists say the real reason is that half your brain is still awake. They have shown that the first night someone sleeps in an unfamiliar place, one side of their brain remains alert to what is going on around them. Intriguingly, it is always the left side that takes the night watch. However, when tested again a week later, both sides, or hemispheres, of the brain shut down.

So Brown University needed to do a scientific study to figure out that your brain stays awake when you sleep?  Umm no doy.  And for superhumans like myself it’s not only when I sleep in strange hotel rooms for the first time.  It’s every single night of my life. The left hemisphere of my brain is on 24/7.  It never takes a day off.  Never takes a quick snooze. Never just lies in the hammock and let’s cool Nantucket breezes take it away.  My brain is always awake. Always on alert. Always thinking.  Always cracking numbers.  Always looking for new talent.  Always writing best sellers.  That’s why I’m always tired.  That’s why I occasionally have spelling mistakes or forget somebody’s name. That’s why I need an adderall gumball machine at the office.  As much as it sucks that my brain never shuts of or recharges the batteries it’s also what’s made Barstool successful.